Practice for Blanket’s letter.
I’ve been too exhausted to write or think clearly for the past… But now that I’m supposed to be on a break from school and work and life in general, I’m more drained than normal. I don’t believe my family understands the concept of ‘going home to relax.’ I walked into Mom’s house to screaming children and all adults getting ready for a party. Too tired to complain that I was too tired to be a decent babysitter I smiled and put down my bags. Woke up the next morning to more screams and clanging of rearranging things of all sizes and sounds, just rolled out of bed and started the day irritated, bone tired but still smiling.
Maybe if I didn’t smile through torture and pain they would have noticed I was close to breaking. Saturday, Sunday, Monday. WOW! I could have sworn I’ve been home for a week at least.
Doubts about my sanity due to my level of tolerance for abuse have been swarming me for months. I can be harsh with strangers and people I’ve known for less than 5 years because I can take more than my fair share from family member after family member without losing my temper or flying off the handle like a normal person would do. Though I’ve been working on changes, they don’t seem to be enough.
Conclusive thoughts: There is no way in hell, on earth or in heaven and purgatory that anyone is getting me out of the house tomorrow. I’ll be damned if I’m forced to do anything. I REPEAT: A N Y T H I N G, other than sleep, eat, shower and internet time wasting.
This is supposed to be a vacation after all.
